Wow, this shakes my foundations. It's been a while since I've read something so deeply true. Last Saturday I had a major meltdown triggered by overstimulation and since then my inner voice has sounded very much like the one you describe. All I've been doing since is trying to fix myself. Isolating myself, going to bed super early to be more rested, to fight the overwhelm, the fatigue and the anxiety that comes with it. After reading this I'm so curious what would happen if I'd just embrace it and continue life with everything there is at the moment. Thank you for changing my perspective today!
This was so, so good Stacey! I really struggle with “both and” and I am making attempts to lean into that and not see things in such “absolute” terms ✨💛
All-or-nothing thinking is a real bugger to let go of, especially because it's often hiding in the clothes of perfectionism or high-achievement.
That shift is probably one of the most powerful tools I've had in my work to make peace with depression / anxiety. I've realized along the way it's not the difficult feelings that sink me, it's the story I tell myself about those feelings that weighs me down. The less you fight them, the quicker they move through your body.
Yes, I never realized the correlation between all or nothing thinking and perfectionism, but I am trying to retrain my brain so to speak.
I too deal with depression and anxiety. You are right about letting the feelings wash over you. When I tried to numb the feelings and push them away, I made things worse.
A visual / metaphor that helped me was thinking of them like a wave. We see the wave coming, and our instinct is to try to control it, to not crest the wave, to pull back. The result is that we are constantly falling into the backside of the wave, into the chaos of the churn.
What we want to do is the opposite. Rather than fighting to not crest the wave, our goal should be to crest them as often as possible. To get good at it. To become a surfer.
It's been a really powerful tool for me to practice surrender / moving through instead of getting caught in that dreaded loop of feeling anxiety / depression about my feelings of anxiety / depression.
‘The weeds don’t take away from the beauty’ YES... gosh I’ve been navigating this both/and since I entered Motherhood almost four years ago... I think it’s been my biggest gift in fact... learning to hold all these different pieces and not judge myself for them. I love your thoughts on this and really love that you are sharing the realities of business and motherhood and all the layers that come with this. Thank you. Xx
Oh Laura, those early days of motherhood are such powerful teachers, aren't they??
The not-judging is so, so powerful - that's amazing that you're working on that so early in your parenting. It took me a really long time to set that down (or try to, anyway - it's a practice!)
The garden has been a great teacher, though. Learning to not only accept the weeds, but find beauty WITHIN them, too. In my work as a holistic gardening educator we talk a lot about pests, disease and weeds as being allies, not foes. They are how the garden speaks to us, providing insight into the health and needs of our ecosystem. Maybe our intense 'negative' feelings can be viewed in the same light?
Wow, this shakes my foundations. It's been a while since I've read something so deeply true. Last Saturday I had a major meltdown triggered by overstimulation and since then my inner voice has sounded very much like the one you describe. All I've been doing since is trying to fix myself. Isolating myself, going to bed super early to be more rested, to fight the overwhelm, the fatigue and the anxiety that comes with it. After reading this I'm so curious what would happen if I'd just embrace it and continue life with everything there is at the moment. Thank you for changing my perspective today!
"This feels hard because I am doing something brave and that is worth celebrating.
Yes, this is a lot right now and it is also exactly where I need to be.
I can feel afraid and experience self-doubt and also know in my heart that I am on the right track."
I NEEDED THIS TODAY <3
This was so, so good Stacey! I really struggle with “both and” and I am making attempts to lean into that and not see things in such “absolute” terms ✨💛
All-or-nothing thinking is a real bugger to let go of, especially because it's often hiding in the clothes of perfectionism or high-achievement.
That shift is probably one of the most powerful tools I've had in my work to make peace with depression / anxiety. I've realized along the way it's not the difficult feelings that sink me, it's the story I tell myself about those feelings that weighs me down. The less you fight them, the quicker they move through your body.
Yes, I never realized the correlation between all or nothing thinking and perfectionism, but I am trying to retrain my brain so to speak.
I too deal with depression and anxiety. You are right about letting the feelings wash over you. When I tried to numb the feelings and push them away, I made things worse.
A visual / metaphor that helped me was thinking of them like a wave. We see the wave coming, and our instinct is to try to control it, to not crest the wave, to pull back. The result is that we are constantly falling into the backside of the wave, into the chaos of the churn.
What we want to do is the opposite. Rather than fighting to not crest the wave, our goal should be to crest them as often as possible. To get good at it. To become a surfer.
It's been a really powerful tool for me to practice surrender / moving through instead of getting caught in that dreaded loop of feeling anxiety / depression about my feelings of anxiety / depression.
Thank you for sharing this way of looking at it Stacey. I truly appreciate your words here ✨
‘The weeds don’t take away from the beauty’ YES... gosh I’ve been navigating this both/and since I entered Motherhood almost four years ago... I think it’s been my biggest gift in fact... learning to hold all these different pieces and not judge myself for them. I love your thoughts on this and really love that you are sharing the realities of business and motherhood and all the layers that come with this. Thank you. Xx
Oh Laura, those early days of motherhood are such powerful teachers, aren't they??
The not-judging is so, so powerful - that's amazing that you're working on that so early in your parenting. It took me a really long time to set that down (or try to, anyway - it's a practice!)
The garden has been a great teacher, though. Learning to not only accept the weeds, but find beauty WITHIN them, too. In my work as a holistic gardening educator we talk a lot about pests, disease and weeds as being allies, not foes. They are how the garden speaks to us, providing insight into the health and needs of our ecosystem. Maybe our intense 'negative' feelings can be viewed in the same light?